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Said things then denied. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I forced myself to get up and go out into my world, reach out to the good people I used to have in my life, and find new good people.

As well as seeing the narcissists nicer side here are seven tricks the narcissist will use to try to woo you back: narcissist trick 1. Especially, if he says nasty things about you or your situation, which him being a narcissist, he probably will. I think he needs to get some help but he says he should be able to talk to me. We drove to a restaurant , and he parked me , in the Sun ,while he went in for food.

Narcissist Break Up – Why A Narcissist Leaves You And Comes Back

On the surface narcissists can seem charming, intelligent, caring—knowing how to entice and lure their way back into your life. But once they reel you back then they revert to their egotistical selves. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, crave admiration and attention. They can also be highly intuitive, but use their for self-interest and manipulation. Narcissists can make you fall in love with them so hard that it feels like you're giving up a part of your heart to leave them. And they use every manipulation in the book to get you to stay. Narcissists are so dangerous because they lack , have a limited capacity for unconditional love. Hard as it may be to comprehend, these people have little insight into their actions, nor do they regret them. QUIZ: HAVE I BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NARCISSIST? Narcissists are hard nuts to crack. Still, even if one wants to change, progress is limited, with meager gains. These people sour love with all the hoops you must jump through to please them. Narcissists are really convincing. When you are ready to leave, stick to your convictions and move on to a more positive future filled with real love. Set Limits Since narcissists have no empathy, nor can they really love, you must leave them cold turkey and endure the pain. Then gather all your strength and keep walking into the unknown towards something better. Focus on the Future Once detached from a narcissist it is extremely important than you focus all your positive energy and thoughts on doing good things for yourself and the world. Don't let your mind wander to the past or to what he is doing. Be Kind to Yourself Treasure yourself. Be very kind to yourself and know that you deserve a loving relationship with someone who can reciprocate that love. My view on life is that every person we meet along the way, loving or not, is meant to help us grow. Do not beat yourself up for getting involved with a narcissist. It is very emotionally freeing to heal any to abusive people so you can have more true love in your life. Adapted from I found it helpful to latch onto an interesting TV show right after getting out. I bought all the seasons of Scrubs, even though I couldn't really afford them, and watched them all night after night instead of emailing or calling him. Just married an amazing, emotionally generous man this past year. It's so much better to get out. He finds it very hard to celebrate my achievements as a couple. There is no congrats, or celebration dinners etc. He always turns the situation to him. I end up comforting him about his life choices, that didn't result in the same success. I end up apologising for my achievements. Also every time, I am unwell, he complains that he is worse. So I don't say anything. I was unwell for over a year with a serious medical condition, and it wasn't until my health deteriorated that I seeked help. I feel that it isn't his fault, as he is a product of his parents upbringing. When you have a mother who tells you every day that you are so very special, and can be the prime minister if he wanted to. A mother who taught him no household skills like cleaning as you are so handsome you will find a wife to do that for you. You really can't blame him for the way he is. However, how do I put up with his? I was taught that in life you find a partner who is your soul mate. Someone who understands you, goes through the up and downs, may argue with you but will be there by your side. I will tell you this. It's noble to think that you love this person and maybe it won't be so bad so you should stay but LEAVE. I met and married and even have a daughter with a narc and I regret it every day! I could have had all of these things with another person is what I mean. I live each day with EVERYTHING being about him. He doesn't appear to care about anything I want or need or accomplish. They don't care about things you give them no matter how special... They don't care what you want to watch or where you want to eat or even appreciate your having your own friends. It gets worse after marriage. If you sign up for it know that you will never feel loved or appreciated. NEVER There is no cure for this and they will never change. Your only hope is that you learn to care for yourself and surround yourself with those who make you feel special and loved... But beware sometimes those people can become intimately involved with you because they make you feel what your own partner can't. Living with a narc means subjecting yourself to loneliness, sadness, anger, disappointment, temptations and eventual disconnect from the relationship just as a way of avoiding those constant disappointments and let downs. THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE. IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM. I FEEL LIKE IAM INVISIBLE. NO MATTER HOW MUCH I TRY TO GET CLOSE TO HIM THE FARTHER HE PULLS AWAY. BELIEVE ME,IVE BEEN MARRIED TO THIS ANIMAL FOR NINE YEARS. HE, WILL NOT CHANGE. IAM IN THE PROCESS OF LEAVING THIS HELL HOLE THAT IAM IN. THERE MORE JOY IN ACCEPTANCE, THAN THERE'S IN STRUGGLE. Make yourself a viable plan and remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible. Write a list of all of his troubling behavior, issues etc. Go no contact once you leave. You can do it! Living with a narc means subjecting yourself to loneliness, sadness, anger, disappointment, temptations and eventual disconnect from the relationship just as a way of avoiding those constant disappointments and let downs. I have been married over 27 years with a man who is all about himself. Conversation always turns to him, getting a good raise at my job was turned into him not having a raise for 7 years, he buys things beyond his means like expensive cars, etc because he knows it gives him something to talk about, etc. He is always right and my thoughts or ideas were pushed under the rug and disregarded almost immediately. The focus is always on him. He has been a chronic cheater throughout the marriage and even when hard evidence was presented, he flaunted that I was crazy and delusional. Trying to talk to the man is pointless as every time hard conversations come to the surface, he leaves or says he doesn't have time and we will talk later. We separated and I attempted to divorce him and his scare tactics put me off.. Or they give you a shred of hope and you cling to it only to be disappointed again and the cycle just starts all over again. I don't expect much from him now and detachment has started. Even my kids tell me I need to get out of the marriage and be happy. Eventually I will find the strength but its a living hell. I feel stupid for still being married to someone like him. Looking back, I see the signs were there from the beginning but that's water under the bridge. Nothing will ever change with him. Narcissists are cowards and ending the marriage will always be because I wanted it as he won't share any of the blame or responsibility for his own actions. When I bring it up, his comments are usually something to the effect that I have become too independent for him. I am still fairly young and attractive. I used to be scared of being alone but there have got to be better days ahead for me. Just got the courage to leave my 34yr marriage to what I now know is a Narcissistic man. I felt like I had to go thru with all the wedding plans- I was embarrassed to back out. Your post helped me- do it, get out. The loneliness is profound first, but you survive. The thing is- everyone around you see what we couldn't see within the mess. Hope you see this- God Bless. I have 3 children and one grandchild! Every time I attempt to do something he threatens and I stay!! Never a celebration for an achievement, anniversary, or encouragement!! He says everything I accomplished was because of him!! Now his behavior is affecting my children and their families because he wants them to pay him not to work!! I don't know how I didn't see this coming being that I pride myself with being a better judgement in character I am absolutely miserable and can't imagine living the rest of my life like this. I want out so badly but can't stand to hear my daughter ask for her dad. She's only 3 and has no clue how hard it is just to hang in there. I am in the same boat. I have been struggling for almost 12 years in leaving my narc spouse. We have been married almost 8 years. I question myself all the time.... I want to protect her all the time from anything negative he may say to her. Of course she loves him so much. He is a caring father to her now because she is so little and cute. I worry when she will start to talk back to him when she becomes a teen etc what will happen then. He has her on a pedestal. The one I used to be on. I have been knocked off and replaced by our daughter. I'm still here for now but I am done. We had a bad argument last nite in front of her and I lost my cool and pushed him. My daughter witnessed it all and heard him say he hates me and to get out of his house. She was crying so bad. I can't bear to leave her but don't know what to do. He immediately left and went to the bar. I came home from work and he left shortly after I got home to meet his friends out. Treating me like I caused his bad mouth behavior etc. It took me a solid 2 years to change around my situation which was a lot like yours so I offer this advice knowing the heartache one goes through. Many of us who end up with narcs male or female have terrible boundaries and don't know how to stick up for ourselves in an appropriate manner when confronted by hostile people. We often let people get the best of us and when we do that we literally hand over our power to them. That's exactly what narcs look for... Unfortunately our kids pay a big price seeing us hand over our power. Unknowing we are teaching them how to be a power source for a narc or to be a narc. For your daughter's sake and yours look at your situation and start setting boundaries I could go into a good list but you can search the Internet for that or go to counseling. Then keep your cool and don't hand over your emotions when he is being hostile. Talk calmly and clearly. Walk away if you feel yourself loosing it. In everything show respect even if he doesn't. Do it because you respect yourself. After you have set your boundaries learn how to appropriately talk with a narc. The words you use and how you say it is huge. With non narcs a person doesn't have to be so careful but with someone who tends towards the narc side it's very important how you talk. This is something you will want to do regardless of if you stay married or not being you have a daughter with him. If your husband is being abusive then you gotta stop that even if it means ending the marriage. If you can set good boundaries and learn the skill of talking to a narc and the relationship becomes better then the marriage relationship may not have to end. Going to a counselor who understands narcs would be a good idea. I suggest going by yourself. Marriage counseling would likely not work right now. When I was in the midst of things I saw such little hope but now 2 years after starting my journey to change things my life is way different and much more happy. The power to change is inside of you. I remember being in such pain and not knowing what to do. I searched the Internet for answers and still didn't find what I needed. Counseling was honestly the best thing I did because it taught me how to value myself and to be confident. Narcs don't feed on those people. They may try but they are not successful. So you see the answer to the problem is sometimes changing yourself so that you are not a food source for a narc. Your husband may decide he wants nothing to do with you or he may actually grow to care and love you. Only time will tell but either way you will be much happier. You will also be teaching your daughter how to value herself in a non narcissistic way. I have been married to my husband for a little over two years and it has been one relentless nightmare. Just that quickly, I went from being single and happy, with savings and friends, to being in debt and having almost no friends at all. This entire 26 months of marriage has been about him alone. I have cried just about every day. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that one of the two friends I have remaining said to me that he seemed like a textbook narcissist. I started researching it almost immediately. After the first couple of articles, everything became clear. Every single thing described my husband and what I've been going through to a tee. I have made a decision to leave him. I feel like such a failure for not seeing this, for ignoring what I now realize were red flags - but his charm and the intensity of his love for me was too real in the beginning, and I lost myself in that. Are there any support groups or forums that you guys can recommend, because I need people who have been through or are going through this? I'm 30 years old and have been with my partner nearly 5 years. We're not married but run a business together making us 'financially married' : He's cut me off from my family and friends, has destroyed my self worth and confidence and eroded my savings into the ground. I need to leave and so do you, but I'm sure we've both tried and been sucked back in. There is no way we deserve to live the rest of our lives like this. It's hard to talk about because everyone else 'sees the writing on the wall' and thinks we're idiots for staying also true but the true element behind it is fear and guilt. Fear of them, fear for our safety, fear for our futures, and guilt that we're the 'bad' guys, or being cruel. Of course there is also the obvious and most apparent fear of 'what will they do' - they WILL hurt us, they WILL break and destroy our valued possessions, they WILL set out to ruin our 'reputation' he's said this one so much. But behind all of it, he's so 'charismatic and charming' in public that no-one would ever believe what's gone on, they always take his side.. I remember I once emotionally sought advice from the mutual friend whom introduced us I'd known him years longer after I'd been beaten and had bones broken... If you'd like to talk you can send me an email at Robinsonsaustralia at gmail com I'm still in your position, so I don't have any solutions or advice, but it does make a difference to have someone to talk to about this weird and crazy situation. I know the biggest barrier for me is getting 'caught' talking about this online or researching it, so I understand we have to be extremely discrete I'm even feeling nervous writing this... Let's give each other strength to get out of this horrible situation which we don't deserve. Thanks to all the ladies and gentlemen who have contributed their comments and experiences to this thread! Wishing strength and the best of luck to all of your compassionate and caring souls. I would urge you to get out of this relationship. He will never change. He will just get worse and you will accept your situation and his treatment of you will become normal for you. If you have children with him he will never be the father you want him to be. Please please be kind to yourself and leave him. You will find someone who can function properly as an adult and give you the relationship you deserve. I've been married to a narcissist for 26 years. I tried to leave him last Summer and he talked me into coming back with promises of counseling, etc. He has yet to see a counselor. He's very good at putting on an act. I don't know how to get out. I'm hoping to connect with you somehow and maybe get some support from someone who's been through it as it's very difficult for people to understand since he's so good at being charming. No one knows what I've been through the past 27 plus years with him. It's been a nightmare at times. You can reach me at kecastillo cox. Completely invalidates my experience with a female narcissist. It is not gender specific and is troubling that it is not evident that you are referring to the male gender. We males need to feel instant support as we already feel we are in a helpless alienated position dealing with our female Narcissist. Trust me when I say being male dealing with this has its challenges and many I feel differ. Certainly I've come across my fair share of femail narcissists- they are intolerable, bitcy, moody, selfish and almost seem bipolar. Love you and cling to you one minute, but you're as good as your last movie with these people, male or female. I am in a relationship with a male narcissit, i showered him with love, gifts, pampering, tiptoed around his moods, agree to all his opinions, its never ending the amoung of validation and support these weak people need. It is the classic bully sydnrome.. Over nurtured, undernurtured by mom or dad, or found out early in life that if they sulk enough and throw a loud enough tantrum, they'll get their way. Most people don't know how to communicate with a narcist, we thing if we accomodate or tutor them and nurse them through their episodes, they will get better but they wont. Anyone who stays with a narcissist is propbably a codependant. You have to ask yourself, what am I getting out of this? There is a reason we stay.. For me, that's what it is. This can happen serveral times a day, or a few times a month.. They're not, they're just on their best behavior becuase you've given them a shake down. But eventually they get used to the shake downs and don't fear you leaving them anymore becusae they know you won't. Thats when things go from bad to worse. Then they stop caring you're upset by their behavior, stop caring if they've made you cry. Stop trying to make it up to you. Then off comes the filter and they say what ever crap they want without care if it is offensive or hurtful. They need professional help but will never seek it becuase of course, there's nothing wrong with them, its your fault. You are the one abusing them! They are delusional grandiose sense of self. Jeepers I wish I had an ounce of their overinflated self esteeme. Maybe then I'll have to courage to walk away for good. Right now, I am in one of my weekly fights with Mr. Yesterday he accused me of dressing slutty, flirting with his friends and sneaking of to meet another man. I was wearing a white blouse andn black pants for work, said hello and smiled at his friend during an introduction, and went to the mall to buy a DVD. He broke up with me. I'm the nuts one! He insisting I was. And when i manage to be right and he knows it, he changes the subject to something else he's pissed about and we spar again. He always manages to twist my words, my actions into something nepharious, conspiratory or alterior movites. I am untrustworthy, it's my fault he doesn't trust me becuase I am a flirt. I spent too much time in my bosses office, I must be sleeping with him. I embarrased him in front of his friend. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me for entertainiing this lunacy! The notion that more male 'narcs' exist is purely conjecture and assumption based on the fact that males are far less likely to seek badly needed help even when they find themselves trapped in horribly abusive relationships with life-eating women with no thought for anything but their own wants, needs and whims. These women, already far more naturally gifted at manipulation than most men due to nature AND nurture equal does not mean the same learn all the right buttons to push, insecurities to exploit, ego points to stroke... They rarely even nurture their own children but instead use them as another means to their end of ever being center of dramatic attention. In extreme cases these women can badger good, caring men to self harm, especially when children are involved and people PRESUME that attractive consummate actors like the female narc are always the best parent compared to the tired-eyed ruin they can create of a once vital and vibrant man... Meet one of these mememememe creatures, run for your life! And never trust a gender-biased therapist! She was a recovering addict+ recovering Narc not that she'd admit to being a Narc. We were together for almost 5 years. It hasn't been a year yet, and I still hurt. I left my husband of 17 years for him. My god this man put on a good show for several months! Loving, attentive, meeting all my needs.. And I am now getting the punishment I deserve for cheating on my husband and abandoning my marriage , hurting the man I loved most , falling head over heals with this beautiful Narc who has broken up with me becuase appearantly I'm a cheater. I have been abused by him daily for over a year, staying with him because my god, I just left my husband for him! Trying to make it work, enduring daily assaults on my character, accusations that I'm cheating, flirting, selfish, hurting him, using him, dont care about him.. God please save me from this nightmare! Save yourself girl , I say! Yes, I've lost my husband , I've errored, I've made a trajic life mistake. I don't deserve to be abused forever because of it. I left him today. I am scared and in tremendous pain of loss of my husband and my love. I am scared I will take him back.. I pray for strength. We've been married for 2 years and he has 2 kids from his first marriage who live with us. I am expecting our baby in a couple of months. My H is rather emotionally draining and rarely happy. Often he lays responsibility for his happiness with me. He has said he knows he is making me miserable and that I'm stressed out but he still talks for hours about his own feelings and has mixed reactions when I talk about how I feel- often he just brushes over it and brings the conversation back to how he is feeling. With the baby coming and having a job as well as looking after my step children I feel like I'm being stretched to my limits and that's before trying to cater for his needs. I think he needs to get some help but he says he should be able to talk to me. I feel exhausted and drained like I've nothing left to give. I just want to enjoy my first pregnancy. I don't think it's narcissism. I also hope your man has been better. But I wanted to share my thoughts. I have been reading non-stop about narcs. Since throwing out my fiancé of 2 years. He also was a divorced dad of 2. I happened on narc. Descriptions by accident after our last fight and everything I've read convinced me I could not take him back. I don't know much about your situation so I can just tell you mine. My man was a charming amazing smart loving guy. I've known him 20 years and loved him most that time. So believe me when I tell you leaving him Was THE HARDEST THING I've ever done. But he was a narc. At the end, he was living in my house, while I worked and paid his child support payments. I, too was pregnant, but found out a week after I threw him out. I think the stress of the breakup led to the miscarriage. Something you said reasonated which is why I'm writing. From the day we started talking to the last conversation we had, he could literally spend hours talking about himself. His exes, his childhood, his bad breaks, how he could be so much more successful if not for this or that, his family, his feelings, his dead dog. As long as I responded with things validating his feelings or praising his fortitude, he'd let me ramble on for quite a bit. But if I brought up a similar feeling or experience I had or had something bothering me to discuss, he could barely feign interest long enough to steer the convo. If your guy is doing this, it will not change. It seems to be very characteristic of a narc. It also sounds like you're supporting the family while pregnant with a lot of stress. Stretched thin to keep it working and meeting his needs. I was doing the same. I have a very good job and ended up bar tending to try to keep his needs met. I read a description once that sums up this paradigm perfectly. It said, in relationship with a narc, they get the lion share of the limelight while you get all the responsibility. It was true for me, and sounds kind of like your situation. Any empathetic person would respond to the stress you're under naturally. Im sure many readers of this site could, as I did. However a narc will not have this empathy on their own. A narc may pretend to empathize under the right circumstance: like if he feels he needs to empathize to shut you up and keep you. If you have to ask for empathy, it is not real. Narcs can fake it well short term though. Anyway, I hope I'm wrong for your sake, but your gut knows. I never thought mine was a narc. Until I learned what they are. You are having his child and he will make your life miserable forever. I had my daughter with my husband who is a narc and I am still living in this HELL because I can't provide well enough for her. My husband is in the top 2% income and I am a stay at home mom. I am trapped and so unhappy. I have tried everything and after studying this disorder realize there is nothing that will change him. He is a lost soul and I am a sad, broken woman when he is in the room. Luckily, I don't have children with my husband who has majority of narc traits as well. Almost everything in me says leave and never look back. Like I said almost everything. Then there's that one part where when I look at him I feel sorry for him. I see him as a sad broken boy who is scared to death. I pray for him a lot. Sometimes I see a glimmer of hope then it fades with the next lie, belittling, withdrawal, gas lighting. I'm at the tipping off point and it scares me to death to walk away. I've begged him to get help. He says nothing is wrong with him accept he has anger issues that he will work on. Then turns around and tells me I have anger issues and should get therapy, which I am. I'm angry at myself and him. I realize that I am apart of the problem as well. I brought my own baggage into this marriage. How long will I have to pay for that? I am also a sad broken woman who is scared to leave and scared to stay. I hope you will listen to your gut. I ignored mine before and I'm battling with my heart and gut now. If you stay please at least talk to a counselor or anyone who's been in your shoes. Again you are not alone. I cannot believe how similar our lives are. I not only understand what you are dealing with but I was living that life and still am in many ways. I am still with him however, he doesn't really hit me anymore. I left for a year when our daughter was only 1 year old. I came back a year later, I will admit things are much better now but only because I have LEARNED how to live with HIM. I have had to make changes. I had to forgive him for everything... I was able to!! I had to get my confidence back and understand that I didn't do anything!!! BUT, I had only become that person because of all of the things he had done and said to me. I have to trust him, I take care of myself and think less about what he is doing or thinking. I surround myself with friends that I once let go because of him... I will never again let him dictate MY life. I am strong and beautiful and love life. I seek mine: NARC people don't like to be questioned or cornered, they are insecure and weak. On top of being narcissistic he is an obituary drinker. Everything I have read and sent to her says RUN and No Contact! Yet, she still tries to give him time. What can I say to help No Contact sink in? He has hurt her physically and emotionally and blames herself for not doing more. I tell her he is the sick one and blame is not hers. But nothing I say is sinking in. How can I help? I asked her to see a therapist who can relate to narcissistic behavior and begged her to block his calls. Sometimes I think I get through but then I find she has spoken to him and she is as deflated as she was in the beginning. Help me help Lisa!! But I want to make sure that it is not just one gender. I am a man that was married to a Narcissist for 18 years which included building a successful business with. It is impossible to reason with someone that lacks any view outside their own an will fight for things that are not important to them only because they are important to you. To them victory is winning the fight not what they gain or loose and they may be willing to,and likely are, destroy everything before they are willing to loose. He is very sensitive, and very empathetic. He actually did get out but there was nothing but phone calls whining crying about all these problems and then 15 min later they would solve themselves. He ended up going back to her because of so much I want to say almost haunting, he just wanted to make it stop, and I don't know how to get him to recognize and run. I'm afraid for his health. She has done countless mean things with no regard for him. May your life continue to blossom from here forward! I have watched 2 male relatives become wasted shells of the amazing men they once were due to female narcissists. I lost my brother to suicide when one thought it would be a fun idea to turn his young daughters against him for his ultimate sin of leaving her after over a decade of marriage and unending torment... I will give that one credit for one thing though. So like her fellow defrauders she lives off medicaid and disability, drugged to insensibility in free housing, eating free food on the tax payer's dime. I had mommy issues too. I didn't spend my life gleefully destroying other people. They are dangers to society and should be treated as such. It's only the smallest baby step from true sociopathy or psychopathology... I mean to say Borderline Personality- insert slightly more ominous words here. In other words, imo female narcs wreak more damage over all because while TONS of shame-free support exists for my gender, men, deeply damaged and abused men who really need somewhere to turn, often remain trapped. In fact the professional community at large has completely dropped the ball on this issue, and it's costing the lives of innocent victims. God help the kind young man who loses his virginity to one of these. N JUST FOUND OUT RECENTLY THAT HE IS A NARC. IVE DECIDED TO LEAVE MY NARC HUSBAND. AT FIRST I WAS CONFUSED ABOUT WHY HE WOULD BE SO CRUEL N ANGRY WITH ME. NOW I KNOW THAT I WASN'T THE PROBLEM. THAT THIS ANIMAL IS LISTEN EVERYONE NO MATTER HOW HARD U TRY TO PLEASE THESE ANIMALS THE MORE ANGRIER THEY GETS. U ARE WASTING UR TIME. CHANGE SO GET OUT! IT ISNT TOO LATE. ITS 2016 IF U STAY WITH THESE ANIMALS TILL 2026 OR 2036 NOTHING! WILL CHANGE SO DONT WASTE ANOTHER MOMENT ON THESE ANIMALS. The 1st year was amazing. I don't recall a time in my life when I was happier. It was one of the things that made me fall in love with her. As an empath a narcissist's favorite target , my heart hurt for her. I stayed awake every night for weeks because she was vomiting so profusely. A team of specialists diagnosed her with lupus. That's where she gets it from! I truthfully didn't believe her, but as an optimist, I hoped for the best. She then asked if I minded if she left me there to go smoke out with her co-worker. That moment was the closest I have ever gotten to almost punching someone! The next afternoon after she hasm d slept off all of the alcohol she drank the night before, she dumped me. She didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. She's always been a liar, so I wasn't surprised when I learned she was already dating another girl shortly after I moved out. I don't know what happened to me. How did I completely miss what she was doing to me? The best I can suggest is to figure out what boundaries you didn't enforce and what needs you were getting met in the relationship. Also ask yourself why you stayed in a relationship that did not give back to you emotionally. Search your soul as the answers are there. Get to know yourself and appreciate you as a whole. It's not your fault you didn't know and what you can do now is to learn about yourself so that you do not end up in another relationship like that. Narcs feed off of emotional energy good or bad. Maybe meditate on empathy vs compassion. You have great qualities to empathize with others but must also guard that gift as it is a window to your soul. You are likely a very strong woman as you say and it's not your fault a narc found a way into your life. Meditate on that part of your life and heal it. No one is perfect and let's just say that Narcs have a wonderful of finding those areas in our life. Take time to appreciate others who can give emotionally. You are the lucky one... Your ex partner will likely carry her internal damage for her entire life. I've done the counseling and set the boundaries needed. Narcs just can't give emotionally so I'm trying to decide if it's worth leaving. I'm like you as I tend to feel sorry and have too much empathy for my narc. I wish he would leave but he doesn't. Narcs are very sad people with very little to no light in them. It pulls at my heart strings. I'm slowly learning the difference between empathy and compassion. Best wishes and may your heart heal. You are a good soul. It is very difficult when you are the opposite of a narcissist and you have such high empathy for other people, to put yourself first. This was my struggle for many years before I left my covert, 'nice' narcissist. All my best to you. She is now 22 and finishing college. Her husband 23 and in the military is a perfect example of a narcissist. He has done everything - the lying, cheating, zero empathy, he is always right, me me me! She is sweet, caring, beautiful, and very smart. I can write a book about him! I have tried to talk to her many times and she will not hear of anything I say about him. They have been together 4 years. She has her entire life ahead of her but she is with this loser. I cannot understand why she loves him. She can have a wonderful life with someone who truly loves her. What is a parent to do?

You're very u, I can tell that. Oh you don't remember. If he continues to try to contact you, go to the police yourself and file a restraining order. You are coming to grips with the fact that what you thought was a serious relationship with a future was nothing but glad and mirrors. If you stay please at least talk to a counselor or anyone who's been in your shoes. So you still think… maybe… You grieve what never was. Of course it does. Imagine my surprise when this fat, short woman shows up at my met. She was like a robot.